How-To Fail Miserably in Business on the Net - in Seven Easy Lessons Starting Today!

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Do you know how much easier it is to learn the right way to dothings if at first you see the wrong way? Think about it.
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you ever learned by trial and error from thefirst time you Do you know how much easier it is to learn the right way to dothings if at first you see the wrong way? Think about it. Thinkabout everything you ever learned by trial and error from thefirst time you fell off you bike onwards.
Well, I'm going to showyou how to apply this learning principle to your online effortsin seven easy lessons, no risk. And believe me, I'm an expert!1.
Don't get your own domainWhy would you want to invest a measly $35 (max) in your businessannually on some name? You know who you are, right? You have notrouble believing that several hundred gazillion Internetstrangers in almost as many countries will trust you - if theyfind you - even without a reputable brand and ID.Fine, go get yourself one of those l-o-n-g URLs at a free websitethat takes at least as long to load as it does to remember.Better still go get one of those self-replicated, absolutelyidentical, clone "programs" with a FREE website. Write me whenyou get it to the top of the search engine listings.
No, I cantwait that long, write me when you get it listed on the searchengines at all. I expect my mailbox won't be overflowing.2.
Don't have any original products to sellYou're OK with that business-in-a-box (for people in boxes, Iguess?) that only requires you to give things away. It only costyou $69.95 to get in, so there's no risk.
No selling, anyone cando this ... You'll earn $689,000,075 daily (give or take $689million).
On WHAT exactly, may I ask?While you're at it, just get a heap of affiliate banners, throwthem on a page, invite two friends to visit and they're gonna buystuff. Don't sell anything you know about, don't use the productsand services yourself and above all make sure there is noinformation, explanation, testimonials or even text anywhere tobe found on your site.Don't be fooled by the "experts" who tell you that the only wayto make any real money is to have something that's 100% yours(your profit), can be delivered online and is not only wanted byyour carefully chosen market, but actually useful.3.
Don't publish a newsletterSee lesson 6 if you MUST do email marketing. Everyone, well bothof them who found you by accident, maybe they were the twofriends? Is gonna buy, buy, buy, the moment they hit your websiteand read your carefully written information about your productsand services that tells them what's in it for them.
Oh, no I toldyou that you don't need it. How silly of me.Don't think that you have to prove yourself to be an expert inyour field: don't think that the least it does is keep remindingfolks to come back and that you didn't fly-by-night.
You'll neverneed to ask people to recommend you to their friends or put youroffers in front of them many times before they'll be comfortableto buy from you. Forget marketing rules.4.
Submit your site to 100,000,000 places dailyYou've got masses of time on your hands right? So you can affordto spend it all, wildly submitting your site everywhere to 9million search engines and 99 gazillion free links pages.Throw enough $*** and it will stick, won't it? It'll stink too!When did you last look for something on the 9 millionth searchengine? When did you trawl around links pages looking for agood deal? Do you think you're the only one who doesn't?Don't let anyone tell you that the search engines will penaliseyou for over submitting or for linking to pages not designed forhuman beings (yes, they can tell the difference). I'm not exactlysure how the technology works to get you a negative listing.5.
Advertise, don't advertiseAdvertise your standard off-the-peg, tried-and-tested advert thatcame with the "program", complete with your long URL with yourlittle number on the end, everywhere, anywhere.Don't worry about it being ignored because it's the same aseveryone else's that appears right next to it day in, day out.Don't worry about cheaters knocking your little numbers off anddoing you out of your 75 cent commission and most of all don'toffer your goods in exactly the right market.Where is that, I wonder? You'll never need to know.When you do find a good, well-written, original, benefit packedand correctly formatted ad, only ever use it once. That will beenough for the whole world to see it and make you rich.6.
Send spamLots of it! This is great, and does double-duty instead ofinformative newsletters or pesky advertising. Buy speciallycleaned lists of "safe" names and addresses of people who arejust eager to receive "information on great money-makingopportunities".
It's a little vague, but these people obviouslyknow what their avid, carefully harvested readers want and a gooddeal when they see it.You really won't upset your ISP every time you send out those 2million emails and have 3 million of them bounce back at youclogging up their mail server. So long as you say this is notspam, it isn't, right? They'll forgive you and even give you afair trial, won't they?And reputations are dead easy to get, aren't they?7.
Forget people, this is technobabble timeNow pay attention here, this is the most important lesson. Thisis the Internet folks.
Let's see how it works ...There's all these computers connected to all these computers allaround the world and all you have to do is send all of thesecomputers lots of identical messages back and forth - this iscalled Internet Marketing - and lots of money will magicallyarrive into your bank account.There are no humans involved. You don't have to talk to them,inform them, woo them, care about finding solutions to theirproblems, know who they are and what they want ...
The rules ofhuman nature, as well as those of business, are totally differentin cyber-paradise than they are in the real world. The Internetis not the real world.Congratulations! You've now completed the entire course andgraduated from the Internet's First School of Failure.
Read backbetween the lines and I'm sure you'll find the path to success.(This story was entirely fictional, all resemblance to realpeople, either living or dead, any offers, services, products orvague "programs" is entirely coincidental.) Article Tags: Seven Easy Lessons, Seven Easy, Easy Lessons Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com .