Look 'Em in the Eyes: The Real Power of Eye Contact

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"At that moment when our eyes ...
in silent ... we are,in essence, ...
-Debbie Bailey Besides touch (not really an option ina ... ...
eye contact isthe most pow "At that moment when our eyes arelocked in silent communication, we are,in essence, touching." -Debbie Bailey Besides touch (not really an option ina presentation setting), eye contact isthe most powerful and personal of allof presentation delivery cues. Whenyou look an audience member in theeyes, for those few seconds, you aretalking directly to him/her.Why is eye contact so powerful? Goodeye contact cuts physical distance inhalf, helps you connect with youraudience on a personal level, invitesaudience members to participate in yourpresentation (if I look at you longenough you WILL talk), enables you togauge your audience's reaction to yourpresentation, stops hecklers frompestering you, and so much more.
The fact is, when you look someonedirectly in the eyes, it is as if youare standing much closer to him/her. In a presentation setting, close isgood.
The closer you are, the moreimmediate you are, thus the harder youare to ignore. Think about it from theaudience's perspective-it is mucheasier to tune out a presenter who isfarther away from you (I can't see you,you can't see me).
Because theaudience members seated closest to youwill have the best experience anyway,use your good eye contact to moveyourself physically closer to audiencemembers seated in the back of the room. Your eye contact also provides youwith valuable feedback about how theaudience is receiving your message.
Approval, confusion, excitement,hostility, frustration, and many otheremotions are all expressed through youraudience's body language. Eye contactwill help you read and react to thesilent messages your audience issending you about their understanding,their likes, and their dislikes so youcan determine what to reinforce,review, hurry through, etc.There is definitely an art to makinggood, strong eye contact.
The best eyecontact is direct and sustained-lasting4 to 5 seconds per audience member. That is MUCH longer than most peoplethink.
In fact, inexperiencedpresenters often make the mistake ofglancing quickly around the roomwithout holding eye contact for anylength of time. Their eye contactappears to bounce from person toperson.
Instead, look at each audiencemember until you see him/her silentlyacknowledge you before moving on tosomeone else. This will help you forgea much greater connection with eachindividual in your audience.Be aware that most presenters show eyecontact favoritism.
This means thatthey look at certain people in theaudience more than others. Researchindicates that we tend to look at theaudience members who give us the mostpositive feedback and also the peoplewith the most authority (i.e.
the CEOin the room). While it is confirmingto look at the people who are enjoyingour presentation ("they like me theyreally do"), make it a point to look ateveryone as equally as possible.
Audience members who don't feel thatyou are talking to them (asdemonstrated by your lack of eyecontact) will have the tendency to tuneout. And as for looking at the peoplein power, remember, they are watchingyou to see how you treat the others intheir organization.
The best way todemonstrate your fairness and respectis through eye contact equality. Want more proof about the power of eyecontact? Try using your eye contact tomake someone speak.
Look someonedirectly in the eyes and sit silently,saying nothing. Then just wait (it ishard to do, but be patient).
Theindividual you are looking at will becompelled to speak. Behold, the POWERof eye contact!Conversely, if you have a heckler inthe audience, you need to use adifferent visual tactic.
Hecklers-defined as those who want only toembarrass or annoy-almost always sit inthe back of the room, where you havedifficulty seeing them. Hecklers wantto remain anonymous, that's why youneed to use your eye contact to singlethem out.
With your eyes, say, "I knowwho you are and I see what you'redoing." Sometimes, I even walk closerto them while looking at them-itabsolutely unnerves them. Then, onceyou've established that you see them--NEVER look at them again.
All exceptthe most persistent hecklers will getthe message.If eye contact is the most powerfulnonverbal communicator, why do manypresenters waste precious eye contactlooking at their slides? Presenterswatch their slides (instead of theiraudience) as if at any moment, theirslides might change into something newand exciting--"I've got to keep my eyeson them because you never know whatthey will do." Avoid the tendency tolook at your slides. Instead, focusthe power of your eye contact on thatwhich may really surprise you-youraudience.For much more about these and otherPresentation Secrets, check out the book "15 Presentation Secrets: Howto WOW Even the Toughest Audience," byDebbie Bailey available at trainer2go.com/ebooks.html.
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